So I think I was just mugged

Posted on September 8, 2008. Filed under: Funny, Work | Tags: , , |

So. Last week I was assaulted by a homeless women.

To rub salt in the wound– it was 8am on a Saturday and I hadn’t even finished my first cup of coffee.

I was driving out to Amanda’s to pick up the stuff for the Farmer’s Market.

I suppose the first mistake was that John bought his car in Seattle–where AC doesn’t come standard, so I’m driving with the windows down.

It was still August in Austin. It’s damn hot.

Now, the next mistake was mine. I’m pulling up to the red light on 12th and Chicon and when I thought about rolling up my windows because there was a slightly crazed looking woman standing in the middle of the intersection, I squashed the urge….because that was judgemental of me.

Later, when recounting the following incident, Amanda was like “Oh, 12th and Chicon? My friend was stabbed and maced there a few nights ago while he was riding his bike home, but he’s like, totally all right.”

Me: Dude, I don’t think being stabbed and maced qualifies anyone was being “all right”.

Amanda: Yeah… I guess so. I think they were after his bike, but he managed to ride away.

Me: You would think if you went to the trouble of stabbing and macing someone for their bike–you would just take it!

Amanda: I know, right?

Me: Sloppy work.

Anyways, stupid windows were down, major guilt was rising up and crazy woman comes up asks me for a dollar. My pastors words about the poor and the homeless (Jim!) running through my head, I reach into my purse and pull out the three measly bucks I have to my name and I hand disheveled woman one of them.


Me: uh……………

*Light turns green, cars behind me start honking*

Disheveled Woman shoves her head into my car, reaches past me to the passenger seat and grabs my purse .

Me. HEY! *yanks purse back and stomps on the gas*

The only reason I escaped with even a *shred* of dignity is that I didn’t stall the stupid car while peeling out of the intersection.

Anyways, that was kind of crazy. Didn’t need coffee later in the morning that’s for sure.


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