Pet sitting/boundaries/stress/self care/flirting

Posted on December 22, 2008. Filed under: Family, Home, Personal, Pets | Tags: , , , , , |

(Translation: HOLY SHIT)

(Jo, if this happens to be the ONE blog of mine you read—I LOVE YOU. ūüôā

So apparently, my lesson this month is about having a realistic view of myself and my abilities.

And. so we’re learning what happens when I don’t have a clear grasp on reality and the word ‘yes’ comes out of my mouth far to often.

“Why, sure I can work extra cleaning hours this week while I’m training someone new and doing everything else that my job entails.”

“Why, sure I can do dishes at church tomorrow… I mean, I haven’t been to church in a month and it’s a 20 minute drive and the childcare closes before I’m done and I have a¬† three year old and Sunday’s are the only days I have completely off with John and I have¬† a paper due tomorrow and I’m leaving for The Place of Despair on Tuesday and….. and…….”

Things really aren’t too bad. I’ve been getting a lot better about setting good boundaries and protecting my emotional and mental health. (And, I refuse to feel guilty about it! You hear that? I REFUSE! Our society has such an unrealistic view about how much women are supposed to be able to accomplish. I mean, I am ¬†supposed to be able to: Work a full time job, go to school full time, cook, clean, do other householdy stuff AND have a three year old while my partner works HIS full time job. Which is just crazy. And impossible. ….and anyone who looks at my bathroom can completely confirm this. Anyways.)

Out of sheer necessity and an absolute refusal to take any kind of anti-depressants, I’ve become pretty good about just saying no and not really doing too much “extra” stuff outside of my basic responsibilities. But this week…. I don’t know know what happened. I was feeling so good because I was saying no and taking care of myself…and since I was feeling good, I said I’d do all of this extra stuff for work and for some friends….and that’s when the shit hit the fan.

And believe me–with a potty training three year old, you never really know if I’m being facetious or not. Ahem.

So—normal stuff + extra work stuff+ extra friend stuff+ David going through a complete turd phase + starting a new class + John and I having HUGE relationship crap come up + general anxiety over going to The Place of Despair for Christmas + plus specific anxiety about the holiday’s with my family = Greys Anatomy marathon, a bottle of wine and peppermint bark from Whole Foods.

It was really the work stuff that put me over the edge. And the David stuff. Sure, kid, pick THIS WEEK to stop eating, sleeping and wearing a coat. (I mean, what the hell is up with my kid? He literally¬†will refuse to eat for a day at a time and WILL NOT PUT ON A COAT. And believe me–I put the coat on him. With difficulty and a kick in the face (mine, obviously) but I can do it. However, short of tying his hands to the carseat or whatever, there is no way ¬†I can keep the coat on. My child is either going to be brilliantly successful or take over a small country. Not sure which.

Anyways… Joy and Jo–if you’re reading this blog–I love you two and your respective tiny, dependant creatures. I love having Milo and Tucker around! Although I’m very worried about Tucker eating something or peeing on my one piece of good furniture. *eeesh*

Last night David and I went to Zen (I foolishly thought I could get David to eat some rice. Oh, silly, silly, mommy) and the super hot dready guy was working the sushi counter. Mmmmm… He is so¬†easy on the eyes. After alot of coy ¬†(and by coy I mean shy and pathetic) flirting, mental drama on my end¬†(and David refusing to move from in front of the plate of cookies by the register for 45 minutes. Oh yes.) I walked up to him and said:

Me: “You are incredibly attractive and if I were in a dating place in my life, I would totally ask you out.”

(At least that’s what I think I said. That’s what I planned on saying and I think that something generally close to that came out–but I was all shaky and nervy so who knows what I said.)

Him: “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.”

So that was cool. We smiled and made real eye contact and chatted for a few minutes. Anyways. Was very proud of myself. I can no longer say that I’ve never actively flirted with a guy I liked now.

It only took me 23 years.

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