MEN ARE SO CONFUSING and another poem

Posted on April 13, 2009. Filed under: General Musings |

I swear to god.

What? What do I swear?

Nothing. I have NOTHING.

I am so goddamn irritated with every single man in my life right now. (Except for CJ. CJ is the shit…..we’ve bonded over the mac n’ cheese. In fact, as soon as I am done with this blog, I am going to go pop some popcorn, smother it in tobasco sauce and finish watching a violent samuri movie with CJ–the only sane one of you motherfuckers out there.)(Leon you’re cool too—thanks for the text this morning….you are HILARIOUS.)

It’s not just that most of the guys in my life seem to be hiding ovaries where their testicles used to be–it’s also that I am so fucking tired of being confused ALL OF THE TIME. This doesn’t happen with the women in my life (knock on wood.) It’s not that we communicate better….most of the men in my life are superb communicators–it’s just that my girl friends don’t confuse me or piss me off on a semi-regular basis.

God, I am just so tired of not knowing….anything it feels like.

I seem to recall–and maybe this is just some memory trick–a time when things were clear. There was clarity, there was direction—THINGS MADE SENSE.

And now, nothing is making sesne.

I feel like I’m living half hung over with a headeache while blinded by the sun and all I can hear is the throbbing of my own pulse.

I just stand around, with my mouth shut (or at least after the fact)—trying to figure out who said what, and what I said, and what they meant and I don’t know what to do–or what the appropriate, correct repsonse is or how to feel or what to say—NOTHING.

I have nothing.

Execpt for some spicy popcorn.

(You know what will probably happen? This rant will most likely be dismissed as HORMONALLY INDUCED, aw, isn’t Missy kind of cutely annoying when she’s PMSing.)

And now for something—–completely different. (still very rough….editing has been beyond me at this point of the game…)

Date Night

How does one plan those perfect moments

I suppose, even just writing those words, it seems

To be a foolish, impossible goal

The intangible, desirable

The moments when we look into each others eyes and the warm love we have in our hearts for each other just….

Oh so sweetly, effortlessly travels the paths up the chest and through the arms, throat and neck and pours into sweet touches and soul searing looks

How plan for those moments? Because these are why we put up with the shit that goes with the whole long term relationship thing.

The kid

The taxes

The dishes

The grocery shopping and menu planning

Negotiating the mind numbing minutiae

Of how clean the dishes in the sink need to be

Before you load the dishwasher

Add condoms to the shopping list

Right next to pinto beans and diapers

Romance becomes elusive

The planned date that surpassed the odds

To go to the forgotten place of connection and chemistry

Flirting and footies,

He orders her a third glass of wine with a look of promise on his face

Before the moment is, of course, shattered by the

Minutea of a baby sitter with out diapers

And a beloved toddler finger painting the walls of

The brand new rental with his own shit

At worse, the planned moments…the moments when the connections

Are even possible

Between two full times jobs

A kid, school, chores, friends, justwantingtimeawayfrom the goddamn house

Loving intentions

Fade towards expectations of

Connection and renewed passion

And possibly even some decent sex

and explode into bitter resentment

of needs not met, of touches not holding the

weight of desire

or looks empty of promise

just a vacant gaze

focused on the

daily grind of diapers and pinto beans

and who’s mopping the kitchen floor

and folding the laundry

what to cook for dinner

and who’s paying the phone bill this month

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3 Responses to “MEN ARE SO CONFUSING and another poem”

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I like it. To the point.

Brilliant poem…thank you! Love, Goddess

Thank you! I like that poem too. 🙂 Look forward to check out your blog more…although I don’t (often) have the pleasure of more than one man’s romantic attentions….


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