Why we have the lamest wireless network name ever*

Posted on February 1, 2009. Filed under: Dialogue, Family, Funny, Home, Personal | Tags: , , , |

So this morning we were discussing what to name our wireless network.

Our neighbors have a variety of funny and clever network names and considering that—without a doubt—John and I are cooler than any of our neighbors, I decided that 2WIRE982 just didn’t compare to “Welcome to the Jungle”, “Red Baron is a Pop Star” and, of course, “Mr. Garrison’s House of Cock.”

If I die before finding out who is “Mr. Garrison’s House of Cock”, I will die unfulfilled and extremely sad.**

I mean, seriously—every once in a while I have to fight down the urge to ask the people in my building “Are you Mr. Garrison?”

But that would be extremely creepy of me.

Anyways—this is a rough transcription of my conversation with John and our friends, Jeff and Lindsay.

(Narrators note: Michael is one of the neighbors next door of “take a bath with me” fame and the crazy knocking scheme. Michael and his wife occasionally pretend that people are harassing them and leave themselves threatening notes and knock loudly on their front door at 5am. Which, since we share a wall, sounds like someone is pounding on our front door at 5am. Fun times.

Anyways, what I found to be a hilarious dialogue follows.


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So I flashed the security guard yesterday

Posted on December 25, 2008. Filed under: Dialogue, Family, Funny, Personal | Tags: , , , |

-on accident of course.

Some people’s minds.

At the airport security check point, (otherwise known as the bermuda triangle of travelers hell) the young guy manning the walk through security thing was being a total douche bag. (more…)

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My friend was bear maced and I accidentally flashed a client

Posted on September 17, 2008. Filed under: Dialogue, Funny, Work | Tags: , , , , , |

Freaking Tuesdays.   

One of my clients called me “earnest” today.  

I can’t decide if that was a compliment or a subtle put down.

I’m going with subtle put down.

There was a miscommunication this afternoon and I thought that my 2pm client had no-showed.

This really upset me off because a) I was there b) I wanted the hours and c) I was in the freaking groove and ready to clean. You know when you’re headed to work and, you know, you’re not entirely looking forward to going into work, but you know once you get started, it really won’t be that bad–you just have to get started. So yes. I was over the hard part of getting ready for work and wanted to keep on making money. (more…)

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