Funny

I didn’t even have any coffee today/Original Facebook captions post

Posted on February 3, 2009. Filed under: Funny, Personal, School | Tags: , , , |

This is getting ridiculous. I am so hopped up on….crazy life stuff  that I have, in addition to frantically texting every single person I know non-stop– I have been updating my facebook thing every three seconds.

Which, ok, fine, I know is really lame. Especially when I have to do school. I mean, really? If I’m going to put so much energy into procrastinating I ought to read Sunshine or watch tv or something fun at least.

So I’ve come up with a solution that is going to allow me to salvage some dignity–but will still let the crazy energy to flow through me into the world…… Ah!

(oh and it’s hot today. I mean, I should have worn a tank top, shorts and sandals kind of warm. I was trying to ground the crazy by taking a walk and it didn’t work. Why am I against abusing behavioral medication? Because from what I hear adderol would probably be a bit more effective in helping me get my freaking homework done than the flower essences I’m taking)

Ok–here you go. Facebook Captions I am refraining from posting:
(more…)

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I didn't even have any coffee today/Original Facebook captions post

Posted on February 3, 2009. Filed under: Funny, Personal, School | Tags: , , , |

This is getting ridiculous. I am so hopped up on….crazy life stuff  that I have, in addition to frantically texting every single person I know non-stop– I have been updating my facebook thing every three seconds.

Which, ok, fine, I know is really lame. Especially when I have to do school. I mean, really? If I’m going to put so much energy into procrastinating I ought to read Sunshine or watch tv or something fun at least.

So I’ve come up with a solution that is going to allow me to salvage some dignity–but will still let the crazy energy to flow through me into the world…… Ah!

(oh and it’s hot today. I mean, I should have worn a tank top, shorts and sandals kind of warm. I was trying to ground the crazy by taking a walk and it didn’t work. Why am I against abusing behavioral medication? Because from what I hear adderol would probably be a bit more effective in helping me get my freaking homework done than the flower essences I’m taking)

Ok–here you go. Facebook Captions I am refraining from posting:
(more…)

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Why we have the lamest wireless network name ever*

Posted on February 1, 2009. Filed under: Dialogue, Family, Funny, Home, Personal | Tags: , , , |

So this morning we were discussing what to name our wireless network.

Our neighbors have a variety of funny and clever network names and considering that—without a doubt—John and I are cooler than any of our neighbors, I decided that 2WIRE982 just didn’t compare to “Welcome to the Jungle”, “Red Baron is a Pop Star” and, of course, “Mr. Garrison’s House of Cock.”

If I die before finding out who is “Mr. Garrison’s House of Cock”, I will die unfulfilled and extremely sad.**

I mean, seriously—every once in a while I have to fight down the urge to ask the people in my building “Are you Mr. Garrison?”

But that would be extremely creepy of me.

Anyways—this is a rough transcription of my conversation with John and our friends, Jeff and Lindsay.

(Narrators note: Michael is one of the neighbors next door of “take a bath with me” fame and the crazy knocking scheme. Michael and his wife occasionally pretend that people are harassing them and leave themselves threatening notes and knock loudly on their front door at 5am. Which, since we share a wall, sounds like someone is pounding on our front door at 5am. Fun times.

Anyways, what I found to be a hilarious dialogue follows.

(more…)

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Being a mother feels like the most unappreciated job in the world sometimes

Posted on January 21, 2009. Filed under: Family, Funny | Tags: , , , , , |

So. THIS JUST IN.

DAVID LOVES POOPY AND PEE-PEE.

Oh yes. It wasn’t enough that he loves “Christmas” and “Gracie” (my in law’s dog)—BUT NOW HE LOVES POOPY AND PEE-PEE.

I was changing his diaper and he was just all, sing song-y… “I love poopy, I love pee-pee, poopy, pee-pee!”

I’m glad my child is displaying signs of having a healthy body image, but where is the love for mommy? Where is the ‘I love you mommy!’? (more…)

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Yogurt situation = EPIC FAIL

Posted on January 10, 2009. Filed under: Food, Funny, Home | Tags: , , , , , |

You know what’s really irritating about World of Warcraft (other than it’s existence)?

How the stupid game rubs off on people who don’t even care!

Although the term “epic fail” is pretty funny.

And ok, fine. I laughed at “Leeeeerrrrrrooooooy Jeeeeennnnnkkkkkinnnns” too. 

Normally, when things go as wrong at the Yogurt Incident did (not only did one batch not set, the second batch didn’t set either and it spilled and so now I have a gallon of frozen milk all over my just re-organized freezer) I…. (more…)

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I’m skiing/I’m planning on becoming initmate with a tree tomorrow

Posted on December 31, 2008. Filed under: Funny, Health, Personal | Tags: , , |

Don’t get me wrong, I love to ski. But I’m tired of feeling like I wrestled a bear by the end of the day.

The last time I went skiing, I figured out that the ski’s I own are are speed skis.

I figured this out on the intermediate hill after I left John and Michael in my snowy dust and had to stop myself with a wire fence and a douglas fir. (more…)

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I'm skiing/I'm planning on becoming initmate with a tree tomorrow

Posted on December 31, 2008. Filed under: Funny, Health, Personal | Tags: , , |

Don’t get me wrong, I love to ski. But I’m tired of feeling like I wrestled a bear by the end of the day.

The last time I went skiing, I figured out that the ski’s I own are are speed skis.

I figured this out on the intermediate hill after I left John and Michael in my snowy dust and had to stop myself with a wire fence and a douglas fir. (more…)

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So I flashed the security guard yesterday

Posted on December 25, 2008. Filed under: Dialogue, Family, Funny, Personal | Tags: , , , |

-on accident of course.

Some people’s minds.

At the airport security check point, (otherwise known as the bermuda triangle of travelers hell) the young guy manning the walk through security thing was being a total douche bag. (more…)

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Well, we’re going to need a new rug

Posted on December 23, 2008. Filed under: Funny, Pets | Tags: , , |

**Update**

Any desire I might have had in the back of my mind for a pet is gone.

I love Tucker to death–but I’m just not a pet person.

This should have been abuntantly clear when I killed a beta from neglect, but no, I have to go off and think I need a cat or something.

Anyways, the temp is hovering around 32 degrees, and apparently, Tucker only poops in the evening with a SUPER long walk around the lake.

This was news to me.

That arrived in the form of a giant poop on my one living room rug.

While gross–it’s really not that big of a deal. The rug was old and since we are *hopefully* buying a couch soon, I want to get a bright area rug to go where the other rug was, so it actually kind of worked out ok.

Not that having an animal crap on your rug is ever a good thing, but still…

If Tucker has pooped on the book chair, I’m not sure what I would have done.

Probably have hid from John—that’s his favorite piece of furniture.

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Well, we're going to need a new rug

Posted on December 23, 2008. Filed under: Funny, Pets | Tags: , , |

**Update**

Any desire I might have had in the back of my mind for a pet is gone.

I love Tucker to death–but I’m just not a pet person.

This should have been abuntantly clear when I killed a beta from neglect, but no, I have to go off and think I need a cat or something.

Anyways, the temp is hovering around 32 degrees, and apparently, Tucker only poops in the evening with a SUPER long walk around the lake.

This was news to me.

That arrived in the form of a giant poop on my one living room rug.

While gross–it’s really not that big of a deal. The rug was old and since we are *hopefully* buying a couch soon, I want to get a bright area rug to go where the other rug was, so it actually kind of worked out ok.

Not that having an animal crap on your rug is ever a good thing, but still…

If Tucker has pooped on the book chair, I’m not sure what I would have done.

Probably have hid from John—that’s his favorite piece of furniture.

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