SO MANY FACEBOOK CAPTIONS

Posted on April 17, 2009. Filed under: General Musings | Tags: , , , , , |

*sigh* It’s like a DISEASE. Or an addiction. I DON’T WANT IT TO STOP.

1. …loves Iron and Wine. So peaceful here at Irie Bean.

2. …has three cell phones in her purse. She thinks this might be a sign that she needs to re-think her life.

3. …now has three laptops circling around her. Like vultures. Wanting to suck the life essence from her bones. 

4. wants to know why the hell the A/C is on at Irie when it’s cool and pouring rain outside. 

5. is very happy her mom is here! *dances* And not just because her mom insists on cooking, cleaning, babysitting/playing with David because, despite this being her vacation, she doesn’t know how sit still. 

6. is worried about there being a death curse on Purple Fig. Bill’s out with a hernia, Amanda wiped out on the scooter….and now there is a dangerous thunderstorm raging out side. HMMM. Is she NEXT?

….ok, ok. I will go back to work. It all worked out with my morning client schedule mishap, so I might as well take advantage of this unexpected opportunity to not work this weekend. 

Oh, on a side note, I did end up getting some tequila the other night. Ha! Toddler birthday parties are AWESOME. 

What’s even better? Doing shots with said toddler’s grandpa. How cool is that?

(I realize that I sound like a horrifying, awful parent right now—but if you think about it, who else in the world needs a fortifying dose of Don Edurado than the mothers of tiny, ravaging monsters?)

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“We have to stop incentiving evil!”

Posted on April 8, 2009. Filed under: General Musings | Tags: |

–Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

Oh my god.

I had a full, sweet, delicious, beautiful, sacred, sparkly, AMAZING nights sleep last night.

Bliss.

And I just had a cup of coffee with Paul, the ad guy from Rare.

Life is freaking good…..

And–I took a hot shower last night! With the lights on! AND–it didn’t sound like a cat was being tortured!

Ah, modern marvels… God, I really really really feel bad for the poor soul who gets suckered into taking my old apartment. I mean, seriously, the tub hadn’t drained for a year and when you turn the shower on—it seriously sounds like some kind of medieval torture chamber.  Oh,  AND–you have to precisely set the cold/hot water knobs if you wanted even a CHANCE of getting moderately comfortable water. Add to that how the light circuit was out in the bathroom and you have the perfect stage for a zany comedy. Which is cool, unless you’re trying to have a real life.

I can’t even begin to describe how lovely it was last night… Ah.

And, I mean, I was taking the cold showers (unlike other people I was living with-Wimps!) but I never felt clean. And my hair was all whacked out from the cold water… Arg!

Now, with internet on Thursday and my room mostly unpacked….life might actually be close to returning to normal.

But better.

Why? you might be asking.

I will tell you why. My last two CLEPs are scheduled and as of May 6th, 2009 I WILL BE DONE WITH SCHOOL FOREVER.

(Not done learning, mind you–just with school. College isn’t about learning per se…it’s more about a very expensive piece of paper. I am going to learn spanish this year and take some history and art classes and read books…. So lovely!)

I mean….wow, there aren’t even words! There aren’t! The sheer relief and joy this brings me is, at the moment, inexpressible!

Anyways–I am supposed to be working… I want to be working, but the lure of the internet is much too great…

I will be back to my usual (and hopefully some unusal) antics on or around Thursday.

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"We have to stop incentiving evil!"

Posted on April 8, 2009. Filed under: General Musings | Tags: |

–Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

Oh my god.

I had a full, sweet, delicious, beautiful, sacred, sparkly, AMAZING nights sleep last night.

Bliss.

And I just had a cup of coffee with Paul, the ad guy from Rare.

Life is freaking good…..

And–I took a hot shower last night! With the lights on! AND–it didn’t sound like a cat was being tortured!

Ah, modern marvels… God, I really really really feel bad for the poor soul who gets suckered into taking my old apartment. I mean, seriously, the tub hadn’t drained for a year and when you turn the shower on—it seriously sounds like some kind of medieval torture chamber.  Oh,  AND–you have to precisely set the cold/hot water knobs if you wanted even a CHANCE of getting moderately comfortable water. Add to that how the light circuit was out in the bathroom and you have the perfect stage for a zany comedy. Which is cool, unless you’re trying to have a real life.

I can’t even begin to describe how lovely it was last night… Ah.

And, I mean, I was taking the cold showers (unlike other people I was living with-Wimps!) but I never felt clean. And my hair was all whacked out from the cold water… Arg!

Now, with internet on Thursday and my room mostly unpacked….life might actually be close to returning to normal.

But better.

Why? you might be asking.

I will tell you why. My last two CLEPs are scheduled and as of May 6th, 2009 I WILL BE DONE WITH SCHOOL FOREVER.

(Not done learning, mind you–just with school. College isn’t about learning per se…it’s more about a very expensive piece of paper. I am going to learn spanish this year and take some history and art classes and read books…. So lovely!)

I mean….wow, there aren’t even words! There aren’t! The sheer relief and joy this brings me is, at the moment, inexpressible!

Anyways–I am supposed to be working… I want to be working, but the lure of the internet is much too great…

I will be back to my usual (and hopefully some unusal) antics on or around Thursday.

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Who honks at people walking on the sidewalk?

Posted on March 7, 2009. Filed under: General Musings | Tags: , , , , |

I was planing a super indignant post….until I saw the tank top I was wearing while I was walking down said street.

I met up with Jo and Lindsay, and Lindsay had a sack of clothes for me (who needs to buy new???) and so I, of course, had to put on the cutest halter top in the bag….and now that I’m home, I realize that the top is indeed cut down to my zyphoid process—but what the hell? I had a stroller and pants that fit me about as well as a sack of flour (although, I actually tried to wear a sack of flour one time for a futuristic costume party, assuming that the future was Armageddon like–and sack of flour did not cover hips, so bad example)—and all of these assholes are still all like, honking and “hey hot ladies” and such.

I mean,WTF? WHO DOES THAT?

So yes, normally I just ignore such ridiculous, juvenile, hostile and potentially dangerous behavior because I assume, that like dogs and toddlers, these people just want attention.

But I was in a bad mood to begin with and had consumed a couple (seriously! Two!) happy hour margaritas….and was just flipping out…literally. The second time I flipped off a car driving past and screamed “Fuck you!” at them, Johanna was like, “Dude–wow, you’re pissed!” And I had to concur. Assholes.

Anyways, yes.

(So what does it say that I feel like I sort of…deserved the sexual objectification because I was wearing a shirt that accentuated my breasts?)

(I hate America sometimes. I hate that we live in a society that is ok with breasts being bared for sex and movies and marketing BUT NOT FOR FEEDING BABIES.)

I don’t why I keep on being surprised we live in a femine hating, mysoginistic society. I suppose I surround myself with people who actually care about treating other human beings with respect…that it comes as such a shock sometimes.

Cheers to all of the men in my life who don’t treat women like sides of meat. May you inspire others.

I am going to go put my soon to be woman respecting son to bed…and have a beer. Happy Friday!

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I didn’t even have any coffee today/Original Facebook captions post

Posted on February 3, 2009. Filed under: Funny, Personal, School | Tags: , , , |

This is getting ridiculous. I am so hopped up on….crazy life stuff  that I have, in addition to frantically texting every single person I know non-stop– I have been updating my facebook thing every three seconds.

Which, ok, fine, I know is really lame. Especially when I have to do school. I mean, really? If I’m going to put so much energy into procrastinating I ought to read Sunshine or watch tv or something fun at least.

So I’ve come up with a solution that is going to allow me to salvage some dignity–but will still let the crazy energy to flow through me into the world…… Ah!

(oh and it’s hot today. I mean, I should have worn a tank top, shorts and sandals kind of warm. I was trying to ground the crazy by taking a walk and it didn’t work. Why am I against abusing behavioral medication? Because from what I hear adderol would probably be a bit more effective in helping me get my freaking homework done than the flower essences I’m taking)

Ok–here you go. Facebook Captions I am refraining from posting:
(more…)

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I didn't even have any coffee today/Original Facebook captions post

Posted on February 3, 2009. Filed under: Funny, Personal, School | Tags: , , , |

This is getting ridiculous. I am so hopped up on….crazy life stuff  that I have, in addition to frantically texting every single person I know non-stop– I have been updating my facebook thing every three seconds.

Which, ok, fine, I know is really lame. Especially when I have to do school. I mean, really? If I’m going to put so much energy into procrastinating I ought to read Sunshine or watch tv or something fun at least.

So I’ve come up with a solution that is going to allow me to salvage some dignity–but will still let the crazy energy to flow through me into the world…… Ah!

(oh and it’s hot today. I mean, I should have worn a tank top, shorts and sandals kind of warm. I was trying to ground the crazy by taking a walk and it didn’t work. Why am I against abusing behavioral medication? Because from what I hear adderol would probably be a bit more effective in helping me get my freaking homework done than the flower essences I’m taking)

Ok–here you go. Facebook Captions I am refraining from posting:
(more…)

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Being a mother feels like the most unappreciated job in the world sometimes

Posted on January 21, 2009. Filed under: Family, Funny | Tags: , , , , , |

So. THIS JUST IN.

DAVID LOVES POOPY AND PEE-PEE.

Oh yes. It wasn’t enough that he loves “Christmas” and “Gracie” (my in law’s dog)—BUT NOW HE LOVES POOPY AND PEE-PEE.

I was changing his diaper and he was just all, sing song-y… “I love poopy, I love pee-pee, poopy, pee-pee!”

I’m glad my child is displaying signs of having a healthy body image, but where is the love for mommy? Where is the ‘I love you mommy!’? (more…)

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I’m making yogurt

Posted on January 8, 2009. Filed under: Family, Food, Home, Personal | Tags: , , , , , |

…and drinking a bloody mary.

I’m feeling extremely torn between having a second one or perhaps doing some school this evening.

Haha. Yeah, I think we all know what I’ll choose.

(Another haha–be warned, very random.) You know what? I’m too depressed to pay my student loans. I should get a bail out…. Blah Blah.

Anyways. So the vegetarianism didn’t really fly in Phoenix. There was a spectacular crash landing involving the Christmas ham. (mmmmmmm…..)

So I’m trying, now that I’m back, to be an ALMOST vegetarian. It has to count for something! Cutting back my meat intake to once or twice a month has to make a pretty large impact on my carbon out put.

Like I said. I’m making yogurt (yes for reals) and getting ready to pour myself another bloody mary (Titos vodka is yummy. Leave it to Texas to have the best local beef and booze) and do some mass cooking (I just cleaned the kitchen, SO OF COURSE I have to mess it up again) and get bat shit crazy and maybe unpack our 18 million bags. (more…)

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I'm making yogurt

Posted on January 8, 2009. Filed under: Family, Food, Home, Personal | Tags: , , , , , |

…and drinking a bloody mary.

I’m feeling extremely torn between having a second one or perhaps doing some school this evening.

Haha. Yeah, I think we all know what I’ll choose.

(Another haha–be warned, very random.) You know what? I’m too depressed to pay my student loans. I should get a bail out…. Blah Blah.

Anyways. So the vegetarianism didn’t really fly in Phoenix. There was a spectacular crash landing involving the Christmas ham. (mmmmmmm…..)

So I’m trying, now that I’m back, to be an ALMOST vegetarian. It has to count for something! Cutting back my meat intake to once or twice a month has to make a pretty large impact on my carbon out put.

Like I said. I’m making yogurt (yes for reals) and getting ready to pour myself another bloody mary (Titos vodka is yummy. Leave it to Texas to have the best local beef and booze) and do some mass cooking (I just cleaned the kitchen, SO OF COURSE I have to mess it up again) and get bat shit crazy and maybe unpack our 18 million bags. (more…)

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Day without coffee #8

Posted on October 24, 2008. Filed under: Funny, General Musings, Personal | Tags: , , , , , |

UG.

(I was a very naughty girl and drank a glass of some lovely Spanish wine.)

(Not that the wine makes up for the coffee, though. I mean, SERIOUSLY.)

(Good news—I woke up anxiety stricken, so that was a decent caffeine substitute.)

(I think I might curl up in a ball on Satruday.)

(If I didn’t have to do school and work.)

So, um, cheers!

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