SO MANY FACEBOOK CAPTIONS

Posted on April 17, 2009. Filed under: General Musings | Tags: , , , , , |

*sigh* It’s like a DISEASE. Or an addiction. I DON’T WANT IT TO STOP.

1. …loves Iron and Wine. So peaceful here at Irie Bean.

2. …has three cell phones in her purse. She thinks this might be a sign that she needs to re-think her life.

3. …now has three laptops circling around her. Like vultures. Wanting to suck the life essence from her bones. 

4. wants to know why the hell the A/C is on at Irie when it’s cool and pouring rain outside. 

5. is very happy her mom is here! *dances* And not just because her mom insists on cooking, cleaning, babysitting/playing with David because, despite this being her vacation, she doesn’t know how sit still. 

6. is worried about there being a death curse on Purple Fig. Bill’s out with a hernia, Amanda wiped out on the scooter….and now there is a dangerous thunderstorm raging out side. HMMM. Is she NEXT?

….ok, ok. I will go back to work. It all worked out with my morning client schedule mishap, so I might as well take advantage of this unexpected opportunity to not work this weekend. 

Oh, on a side note, I did end up getting some tequila the other night. Ha! Toddler birthday parties are AWESOME. 

What’s even better? Doing shots with said toddler’s grandpa. How cool is that?

(I realize that I sound like a horrifying, awful parent right now—but if you think about it, who else in the world needs a fortifying dose of Don Edurado than the mothers of tiny, ravaging monsters?)

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Who honks at people walking on the sidewalk?

Posted on March 7, 2009. Filed under: General Musings | Tags: , , , , |

I was planing a super indignant post….until I saw the tank top I was wearing while I was walking down said street.

I met up with Jo and Lindsay, and Lindsay had a sack of clothes for me (who needs to buy new???) and so I, of course, had to put on the cutest halter top in the bag….and now that I’m home, I realize that the top is indeed cut down to my zyphoid process—but what the hell? I had a stroller and pants that fit me about as well as a sack of flour (although, I actually tried to wear a sack of flour one time for a futuristic costume party, assuming that the future was Armageddon like–and sack of flour did not cover hips, so bad example)—and all of these assholes are still all like, honking and “hey hot ladies” and such.

I mean,WTF? WHO DOES THAT?

So yes, normally I just ignore such ridiculous, juvenile, hostile and potentially dangerous behavior because I assume, that like dogs and toddlers, these people just want attention.

But I was in a bad mood to begin with and had consumed a couple (seriously! Two!) happy hour margaritas….and was just flipping out…literally. The second time I flipped off a car driving past and screamed “Fuck you!” at them, Johanna was like, “Dude–wow, you’re pissed!” And I had to concur. Assholes.

Anyways, yes.

(So what does it say that I feel like I sort of…deserved the sexual objectification because I was wearing a shirt that accentuated my breasts?)

(I hate America sometimes. I hate that we live in a society that is ok with breasts being bared for sex and movies and marketing BUT NOT FOR FEEDING BABIES.)

I don’t why I keep on being surprised we live in a femine hating, mysoginistic society. I suppose I surround myself with people who actually care about treating other human beings with respect…that it comes as such a shock sometimes.

Cheers to all of the men in my life who don’t treat women like sides of meat. May you inspire others.

I am going to go put my soon to be woman respecting son to bed…and have a beer. Happy Friday!

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Being a mother feels like the most unappreciated job in the world sometimes

Posted on January 21, 2009. Filed under: Family, Funny | Tags: , , , , , |

So. THIS JUST IN.

DAVID LOVES POOPY AND PEE-PEE.

Oh yes. It wasn’t enough that he loves “Christmas” and “Gracie” (my in law’s dog)—BUT NOW HE LOVES POOPY AND PEE-PEE.

I was changing his diaper and he was just all, sing song-y… “I love poopy, I love pee-pee, poopy, pee-pee!”

I’m glad my child is displaying signs of having a healthy body image, but where is the love for mommy? Where is the ‘I love you mommy!’? (more…)

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Pet sitting/boundaries/stress/self care/flirting

Posted on December 22, 2008. Filed under: Family, Home, Personal, Pets | Tags: , , , , , |

(Translation: HOLY SHIT)

(Jo, if this happens to be the ONE blog of mine you read—I LOVE YOU. 🙂

So apparently, my lesson this month is about having a realistic view of myself and my abilities.

And. so we’re learning what happens when I don’t have a clear grasp on reality and the word ‘yes’ comes out of my mouth far to often.

“Why, sure I can work extra cleaning hours this week while I’m training someone new and doing everything else that my job entails.”

“Why, sure I can do dishes at church tomorrow… I mean, I haven’t been to church in a month and it’s a 20 minute drive and the childcare closes before I’m done and I have a  three year old and Sunday’s are the only days I have completely off with John and I have  a paper due tomorrow and I’m leaving for The Place of Despair on Tuesday and….. and…….”

Things really aren’t too bad. I’ve been getting a lot better about setting good boundaries and protecting my emotional and mental health. (And, I refuse to feel guilty about it! You hear that? I REFUSE! Our society has such an unrealistic view about how much women are supposed to be able to accomplish. I mean, I am  supposed to be able to: Work a full time job, go to school full time, cook, clean, do other householdy stuff AND have a three year old while my partner works HIS full time job. Which is just crazy. And impossible. ….and anyone who looks at my bathroom can completely confirm this. Anyways.) (more…)

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A kid one

Posted on August 13, 2008. Filed under: Family, Funny | Tags: , , , , |

It’s about 9:30am and I’m already kind of sick of David.

That is NEVER a good sign at 9:30am.

I love my kid–I really really do. He is so sweet, he smells like almond soap and he gives the best hugs and kisses EVER.

I also suspect that he may just be the antiChrist. (more…)

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